Physicists say they are
able to get to 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds,
(10^-43), of the big bang. Yet, even though this number is so
incredibly small, physicists admit that at present they cannot get to
absolute t = 0, because they cannot fathom the “singularity” that
existed before the universe began. As close as the theorists are to t
= 0 it is difficult to comprehend that they are unable to get there.
So the question is why can’t they get all the way to t = 0? Why
does it remain just beyond their grasp? While it is so close it might
as well be billions of miles away!
The reason is because
what the physicists are seeking is before existence, and before time.
They are trying to explain pre-creation and I believe this will
always be beyond them. Pre-creation is the “realm” of the
trinity, the fellowship of the trinity with one another. This
fellowship was so wonderful, so glorious that Jesus prayed about it
in the garden before he was arrested. John 20:24; “Father I want
those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my
glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the
creation of the world.” Before the universe, Jesus was with his
Father and he wants to return to that relationship. All we can
postulate from this prayer is the trinity was together, and their
existence preceded everything we can see, touch, smell, taste and
hear. Therefore their realm will always be beyond our grasp, because
the trinity did not come from us but before us. What an incredible
testimony of the fellowship of the trinity the most intelligent
people among us are giving the rest of us whether they will admit it
or not. These incredibly intelligent people can make sense of the
universe to a very short time after the universe came into being, but
they are unable to explain or even describe t = 0 or before.
In the boot camps that
John Eldredge hosts he shares that we can try to understand the
fellowship of the trinity by looking at the opening scene of Last of
the Mohicans. The scene opens and we see three people running through
the woods. Two are together and the third is someplace else within
the same woods running and driving a deer to a specific place in the
woods. It is this picture that the physicists are trying to deduce
and t = 0 is meaningless as a result. This movement together, this
fellowship of the trinity we are only able to get a brief glimpse of
it in reality through words like the prayer of Jesus in John 20:24.
The reason I am sharing
these thoughts is because I was very full of myself during my 20 –
30’s. I loved that science could provide so many explanations
about our universe and our existence. I also had a deep desire for
science to render God unimportant. I wanted to find life elsewhere on
Mars for instance, because I believed that would prove that God does
not exist. Truthfully, I must be honest and confess I hated God. Yet
the trinity would not give me up. I was continually being drawn to
thinking about God and I also began having revelations in the form of
questions that were and remain difficult to answer. The following is
among some of the many questions that tormented me:
- If I am so special why is my life so messed up?
- If I am so amazing why do I feel so small when standing on the shore of God’s ocean?
- If I am so deep and contemplative why was I so humbled by God’s Grand Canyon?
- If I’ve got all the answers why am I so angry?
- If I judge others so harshly why do I not judge myself as harshly since I do the same things?
- If I know it all why aren’t I satisfied and content with life?
- If I am so significant why do I see all the stars as they were and not as they are right now?
- If I am so great why doesn’t the world recognize that?
I believe these questions
came about from the spirit through nudging, whispers, and promptings
to make me look at myself with no blinders on. I also began to notice
that things I had read previously in the word seemed to yield new
discoveries for me as though I was reading the verse for the first
time. I also experienced the nudging, whispering, and prompting
through the writings of others such as Jennifer Rothchild, Henry
Blackaby and sons, Philip Yancey, Brennan Manning, Henri Nouwen, and
John Eldredge among others. Revelations also began coming to me
through songs, and movies as well as brothers. The trinity also used
nature to speak to me of the glorious realm before time. It was
especially through the words and thoughts of John Eldredge that the
trinity started touching deep places within me. Eldredge asked, “Why
do certain images and movie scenes resonate so deeply within us?”,
and I began to ask the trinity this question about myself. The
answer that came back is because this is the heart that God placed in
me, and those pictures and images resonate with me because they touch
the desire that is hardwired within me to drive me to God. I will
find no satisfaction through anything else or anyone else, and if I
try to find satisfaction elsewhere I will be frustrated at every
attempt. Then in August 2013 on a small platform above a stream in
the Rocky Mountains near Fraser, Colorado, the trinity revealed to me
that I am called a compassionate son, because that is the image I
reflect of the trinity in my masculinity.
Finally, as proof that
what physicists are trying to decipher at t = 0 is unreachable; I
will share a transformation in me that the trinity began bringing
about in 2013. Unfortunately and foremost I had to reach bottom in
order to understand the trinity, and I reached bottom the evening of
May 13, 2013. Since then through therapy and the revelations I
mentioned above below are words that describe me 5 years ago and words that describe
me today. The contrast is startling, and this should not be possible
either because there should be no reason for me to want to change or
look within myself.
5
years ago Today
Critical Awakening
– I’m becoming conscious of my purpose
Harsh Clarity
– I have focus of how to respond to life
Rigid Grateful
– Susan leaving shocked me to seeing myself
Unapproachable Hopeful
– I have tools, skills, abilities to use and change my responses
Angry Determined
– I do not want to go back to my old life
In
the garden before his arrest Jesus prayed that we would see his glory
that was before the world. I reflect some of that glory through
compassion which is why I was created and why I exist. Physicists can
try to get to t = 0, but in reality all they really need to do is
look at those who know their purpose and reflect characteristics of
the trinity and they will get a glimpse of what t = 0 was like.
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