Am I significant?

Am I significant? From the rejection of most people who I work with each day, I don't appear to be. When I try to say something at a meeting my thoughts are unimportant. I can be speaking in mid sentence and be interrupted by another person without the courtesy of being allowed to finish my thoughts. No one has ever returned to me and asked me to finish what I was saying. One team member has yet to acknowledge me 20 days into the New Year, yet he has been to every other person's office at least once.

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One evening following an argument with one of my sons, I came out of my room and found that all of my family had taken advantage of that opportune moment to leave. I came out of my room and found the house completely empty. My son no longer talks to me as a result.

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When I go out of town to visit with those in another location that I am assigned to work with, I typically enter an office and begin visiting with that person. Yet, as is often the case, another person enters the same office and even though I may be speaking they turn to the other person and begin a discussion with them completely cutting me off with no thought of wondering if that bothers me.

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I am broken and flawed. I have a temper, I am short on patience. In summary, I am a mess. Messy is the word that can be used to describe my life. I am unwanted and not liked. I am not significant enough to bother with. I am not worth listening to. I have no redeeming value to most of those around me. I would be abandoned if others could make that call. They would throw me out of the car and leave me standing by the side of the road while they raced off abandoning me there.

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Recently, we went to an animal shelter to look at dogs that were available for adoption. As we walked into the shelter the animals stood up in their little cages and wagged their tails in anticipation that we would give them some attention. Their eyes spoke of brokenness. They were unwanted and so desired to get out of the little cages holding them and run free. I could relate to them. I had empathy for their hurt. One young dog caught our attention because she was similar to the dog we had recently laid to rest after 14 years in our family. She gazed at us deeply and wagged her tail with dignity. She wanted us, but wouldn't get too excited lest we decide on another. We selected her, and she knows the joy of being wanted.

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Am I significant? Most of the people around will say no. If I were in the cage and stood up and called to them they would gaze my way, but move on. I know the hurt of not being selected. But....There is a God who made me who says otherwise. He reminds me that He made me. I have not grown into the way He planned me, yet He will not leave me in the cage. I am broken, chipped, hurting, and sad. Yet He still takes me. Why? What does He see that most people around me cannot see? Why would the Creator even care? Surely a majority opinion counts for something doesn't it? Surprisingly, He says no. His thought of me is independent of everyone else, and He will take the broken pieces and make my life into something beautiful.

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My Father, I have listened too much now to the thoughts of those around me. I have wanted to be accepted by everyone except you. Please forgive me. I need your presence in my life now more than ever. I am significant, because you do not make trash. You, Father formed me and breathed life into me. Oh Father, I belong to you. I have been claimed by the blood of your beloved son. Help me, oh Father to reach out to you each day. Help me to leave these painful feelings at the cross so that I am no longer burdened by them. Redeem my life father for your glory. If you can redeem me then there is hope for every other person in this world. Let gratitude flow out of my life each day for your love. Hold me Father for I am crying and need your comfort. Just like our dog Sierra, the door to my cage has been opened and you reached in with your powerful yet gentle hands and pulled me out to yourself. Thank you. I have forgotten. Please work on my memory to forget the pain and hurt caused by others and to fix my focus on you. Thank you for loving me.

Do We Even Care?

The story of the woman who was bent over and unable to straighten up in Luke 13:10-17, clearly contrasts the difference between God caring for us and our not caring for others. Jesus was in the process of teaching on a sabbath, when the woman walked into the synagogue. How telling that even in her condition, she seems to not be angry at God and she seems to not blame God for her physical condition, because she still went to the synagogue to worship Him. And Jesus noticed.

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Now it would have been easy for anyone to notice her, because she walked in such a way that it would have caught anyone's eye. Why? Because that is not how people are supposed to look. They are to stand upright not bent over, so we would have seen her situation and felt some sadness for her, because after all that is not the way it is supposed to be. Then we would have recognized our powerlessness and her powerlessness to do anything about ther condition and probably shrugged our shoulders and said there but for the grace of God........

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The text says that Jesus was teaching and I presume he was telling his audience some truth about his Father, when he noticed the woman. So, he called her over and said to her, "Woman you are loosed from your infirmity", and she was able to stand upright. This healing clearly shows to us that God cares. She was a person who accepted her condition and still chose to worship God and as a result, He "fixed" her.

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Now contrast this to the reaction of the other people in the synagogue. The ruler of the synagogue stands up and says, "there are six days on which men ought to work; therefore come and be healed on them, and not on the sabbath day." Huh? Who has the power to heal? Does man, or does God? No man alive could do anything to help this woman. We are powerless in this situation. So if she should happen to be healed, then it must be an act of God, and wouldn't that be cause for us to rejoice with her?

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The rulers statement is incredulous. A healing took place in his presence and he was irritated. Why? He was irritated, because he placed greater emphasis on a day than he placed on a person's need. But Jesus action reminds us that people should always be our priority. People need healing 7 days a week, and when we recognize such a need we stop what we are doing and do what our Father calls on us to do. At the time, Jeus was teaching, but the lesson was not more important that this woman's need, so he stopped and let God work through him. We must always be alert to the needs around us, and when God causes us to recognize a need then we are to stop what we are doing and allow our Father to work through us to heal that person.

The woman in the story may have been anonymous to those around her, but she was important to her Father and he healed her. Do we even care?

Does God Even Care?

Does God even care? Does He care about my heartache? My lonliness? My sadness? My struggles? I'm convinced these questions are asked many times each day by people too numerous to count. My conclusion is yes, our Father does indeed care.

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Luke 7:11-17 tells of the story of Jesus seeing a widow, following the casket of her only son who had died. During this encounter, God revealed to Jesus the pain of the widows grief and the depth of her lonliness upon losing her last remaining family member. She was going to be by herself once her son was buried. No other person would have cared for her as deeply and lovingly as her son. How deep her grief must have been during the walk to the graveyard. The Father saw and was moved. So, He raised her son back to life through Jesus. Clearly, one lesson from this text is God knows our grief and pain and wants to help us through times such as this.

But He doesn't bring everyone back, and neither does He heal all who are suffering from a disease. So how can I say He cares when there are parents at M D Anderson watching their children suffer through cancer? How can I say He cares when another family has buried a loved one cut down by a drunken driver? How can I say He cares to numerous other situations similar to these?

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Here is a partial answer. Luke 7:22 tells us how Jesus responded to John the Baptist's inquiry about whether Jesus is really the one or should they look for another? Jesus responded, and I paraphrase here, "Tell John to look at the evidence of God's power that is working through my life. Here is what the Father is doing. The blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf here, the dead are raised, and the poor are being ministered to. Take heart John, God is revealing His extraordinary power to humanity through me. No man can do any of the things you have seen me do, only God can! He is showing humanity what His power is able to accomplish, so look at this evidence and be encouraged and approach the Father with your heartaches, your lonliness, your sadness, or your strugggles and be prepared to see something extraordinary occur, because God cares!"

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This may not be satisfactory and I understand that, but what I can say with assurance is this. No life is so messy or so painful that it is beyond the Father's power to redeem. When we come to Him with the shatttered shards of our life, He takes the broken pieces and from them builds a new and beautiful life. Father, you care. I really believe that, and I thank you for revealing this through Jesus.

The Audacity of Faith

The story of Luke 5: 18-26 is an inspiration to those who believe that God is powerful and can do the impossible. The audacity of faith makes people do things that the world views as stupid. In this testimony, the world would roll their eyes at what these men did to get their friend into the presence of Jesus.

The world says, oh come on, the man is paralyzed! There is no way he is going to walk, so accept that truth and move on. But his friend's faith says no, we will not accept that until we enter the presence of Jesus and he tells us otherwise. So they pick up their friend's bed and carry him to the place where Jesus is. On arriving they find such a large crowd they cannot get inside the door. Now they are at a decision point, they want their friend to walk and they did not carry him this far to wait, so they find another way into the presence of Jesus. The trouble they went through to get their friend into the presence of Jesus. They had to climb to the roof and lift him there and then they still had to remove part of the ceiling. This wasn't just a five minute detour either, they had to negotiate many road blocks just to get him into Christ's presence, and then there were no guarantee's that Jesus would heal him. However, their friend was worth the effort and the result touched Jesus deeply.

Jesus told them that this kind of faith leads to forgiveness of sins, not just physical healing. This kind of faith brings a person into God's presence, and walking pales in comparison to seeing God. This kind of faith is a testimony of how deeply you believe and trust in the power of God. This kind of faith results in God assuring us that our sin is forgiven.

The audacity of faith - pure foolishness to the world, pure trust and belief to the Father of creation. Father, I want to enter your presence, help me to have such audacious faith!

Living in Luz

In Genesis 28:16-17, Jacob says the following:

"Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it. How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven."

Have you ever been to Luz? Luz is the place where we fail to recognize our Father's presence for what ever reason. In Jacob's case, Luz was the place where he finally had to sleep even though he was under stress of fleeing his brother, whom he cheated out of his rightful blessing.

In my case, it might be the rudeness of a self centered, 18 year old girl, whose philosophy is "it's all about me". Or it might be the sadness of living among neighbors who believe drinking and gossiping is the definition of a good time. Or it could be the stress of working in an office where young people do not wish to learn from the wisdom of the older generation. Or many other such similar places, but you get the idea.

Luz is the place where we focus on other things and fail to see that God is right here with us. While Jacob was making his bed that night on the hard, cold ground in Luz, he wasn't thinking of saying any bedtime prayers. Perhaps he was thinking that God was back home with momma, or perhaps he wasn't even thinking about God at all. Yet, that evening while sleeping on a stone pillow, God revealed Himself to Jacob and spoke to him. Upon awaking, Jacob screamed out the two verses above. What had changed? Was Luz a desert sandy place when he went to sleep, but on awaking became an oasis of trees, water, nourishment and rest? Of course not, the place had not changed one bit during his sleeping to awakening time. It was the same dreary, desert place as before, but the difference was he recognized that God was there. And where God is, there is His house, and the place can no longer be seen as dreary instead it becomes an awesome place.

Oh, how I can kick myself for letting other things and others take my focus off my Father. He is here! Right here, right now! My Father wants to reveal Himself to me. I've gone to sleep too many times in Luz. I've laid my head down on stone pillows with angry thoughts reliving slights from others. I've tossed and turned on a lumpy mattress of being excluded from social gatherings. I've simply gone to Luz because that is where I wanted to be. But in truth, I was always in Bethel (verse 19), I just didn't recognize it. And the sad thing is while God is there, I can absolutely not see Him at all if I so choose.

The power of this choice is we can then make the whole world a Luz. That choice does not alter the fact that God is still here, it just means I will not see the awesomeness of wherever I happen to be at the moment. I think I would rather wake up in Bethel, than go to sleep in Luz, because I want to remember who is with me, wherever I may find myself. I believe it must be wonderful to wake up each morning in an awesome place. I think that's what I'm gonna strife to do each day. Reveal your presence to me God, so that I will quit focusing on the wrong things. Your house is awesome, and that is where I want to be.

Witness to a Redemption

Michael Vick is back in the NFL after a two year ban, while fulfilling his prison sentence and house arrest following his release from prison. That he should want to return to the NFL is his right and the rest of us with rocks in our hands need to go look in the mirror at ourselves before condemning him any further. I'm still searching for the other perfect person to walk on this earth since Jesus and have come up empty thus far.

This has the potential to be a truly inspiring and epic story. Before his troubles, the story of Michael Vick could have been titled, "It's All About Me". He didn't care about rules, he didn't care about what the average fan thought about him, because he was more important than either rules or them. And then he was humbled. His money could not prevent the power of our laws from reaching him and bringing him down, and what a fall it was. He was completely exposed for what he was in secret. He was completely humiliated. His story did truly become "it's all about me", though he would rather have kept those specific details in the dark, because they were terrible.

Now here he is again and I am moved by what I have seen so far. He is humble and he is broken, and these two traits are indicative that he has undergone some serious soul searching and he didn't like what he found. Because of that, he wants to become a different person than the one he was two years ago. He understands that one more hiccup and his ban from football will be for life. He wants to change and I for one think most Americans should applaud him for that attitude and should encourage him to stay true to the path he is on.

I don't know if this is a spiritual story, but it has all of the elements that usually cause one to seek the Father. A terrible fall and no friends around. A deep understanding of powerlessness over your situation and understanding that you cannot change it. Then a turning and asking for help, admitting that you are unable to change, but "you Father can change me". Here lies the lesson I hope Mr. Vick has learned from this ordeal, and the rest of us would do well to embrace or at least remember ourselves. No life is so messy that the Father cannot redeem. He takes the broken pieces and from them builds a new and beautiful life. Grow Mr. Vick, you have inspired me in your brokenness and I for one thank you and embrace you. I hope the best for you as you move forward.

Is It Really Amazing Grace?

Lately, I've been struck by the transformation that John Newton underwent when he encountered God in a raging storm while at sea. His encounter was so deep that he wrote the song Amazing Grace as a result. The words of this song continue to inspire hearts 200+ years later. When Mr. Newton's story ceased to be about himself, God was able to touch the world through him! Whoa, that is heavy stuff.

Mr. Newton described himself as a wretch and he was absolutely amazed that grace could even save him. Yet the God whom he praises in his wonderful song is able to do just that, because it is not about John Newton. It is about the Father who is described with words such as love, compassionate, merciful.

Why does John Newton experience the same grace I have experienced and he is transformed by it, and I seem not to be? It seems to me, that grace should cause a person to realize that they need a power much greater than themselves to reach down and save them. When they get to that moment what else can one do but bow down and confess, "I am not worthy, but you, oh God, love me anyway".

I don't believe I have been transformed in the same way John Newton has been. I also do not believe his transformation was an instantaneous event in his life. Grace, however, was something he was able to wrap his arms around as he grew in his relationship with his Father and he had to capture that with words. That is what I want. I don't want to be one who takes grace for granted. I want it to transform me so that my Father is able to use me to bless others as He works to draw them to Himself. Teach me oh Lord the depth of your grace in my life. Use it to transform me into the image of Jesus and help me to surrender my will to yours like Jesus did on his last night on earth. Father, I want my life to sing how amazing you are to the world!