Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering,
There is a crack, a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
From Anthem by Leonard Cohen
Ruth: Who hurt you once so far beyond repair?
Jean-Guy: Am I Ruth? Beyond repair?...........
Jean-Guy: Rosa came back.
Ruth: Yes.
Jean-Guy: I'm glad.
Ruth: She took the long way home. Some do you know. They seem lost. Sometimes they might even head off in the wrong direction. Lots of people give up, say they're gone forever, but I don't believe that. Some make it home eventually.
Jean-Guy Beauvoir knew then that he and Rosa hadn't been abandoned, they'd been saved.
From How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny
The fictional conversation between Jean-Guy and Ruth resonated deeply within my heart. So much so that I had to write it down in my journal after finishing the book and try to capture what my heart was telling me about me. As a person who was diagnosed with Clinical Depression in 2013, I could relate to the lostness of Jean-Guy. He was in a prison of his own making and did not know how to free himself, and then an angel in the form of an old, wounded woman, Ruth Zardo, sits by him on a bench and engages him in conversation. Ruth is a woman who keeps people at arms length seemingly to avoid getting too close to anyone. But, she knows Jean-Guy and deep inside she cares and loves enough to try to rescue him and somehow her words and action penetrated his heart and he listened.
In my life, I did not learn I was depressed until my 56th year. I did not know anything was wrong per se, except that I had a violent temper and there were times I could not control it and I would rage. I have shared my story in previous blogs about how my wife Susan rescued me as Ruth did Jean-Guy, and I am also thankful for my counselors Dr. Holland Miller and Dr. Linda Collings for helping me find my way back home.
But there is another thing about the conversation penned by Louise Penny that resonates on such a deep level and that is that Ruth chose to not wash her hands but to get involved with a person that was not family, but a person nonetheless. In my story, there were many people who did wash their hands of me and in particular they are current long time members of the Church of Christ and I carry much anger towards them even today. In our church upbringing the thought seems to be that once a person is baptized and saved then any issues that "flare up" are caused by a hard, unrepentant heart and the onus is on the individual to straighten up or else that person can be left behind. My anger is also fueled because specifically if three of these people had their wish, my wife would have divorced me and now be free of me. I can sympathize with those feelings on one level that of we've seen this happen time and again. But on the level of being a Christ follower I will not offer any of them them sympathy. So, I know if I had been sitting on the bench wanting a rescue many of that mindset would have left me there and not intervened on my behalf because I had not earned their help. Yet Ruth Zardo chose to get out from behind her walls and protective armor and reveal her caring heart to one who was lost and lonely.
In the lyrics written by Leonard Cohen he says there is a crack, a crack in everything that's how the light gets in. His thought perfectly sums up how our Father worked in his world to rescue me. Everyone of us no matter how tidy or dirty has cracks in our hearts. The Father could have washed his hands of all of us and let us go, but instead he uses the cracks to reveal to his child that he is here. In my case his light got in through Susan, Travis, Daniel, Drs. Miller and Collings, Don, Pastor Jay, Art, Majure, Tom, Donna, Joey, Josh, Khaled, Tonya, Kathy, Al, Pat among others. This is important because no person is not worth the effort to try to rescue especially if you yourself have been rescued. The fictional conversation between Ruth and Jean-Guy paints a picture of compassion in action. Where the majority see someone who is disposable, compassion sees a lost person in need of care and help. Compassion sees a person who is worthy of rescue and worth fighting for.
So the fictional conversation resonates because I know as a rescued person I must live as compassion in action. God uses the cracks in each of us to let the light get in, but the light doesn't bring the message another person must step into the light and say, "I've been rescued and I can offer you the hope I found if you want it." The world is hungry for such compassion. The world is desperately in need of such compassion.