Raise Your Sons in the Way They Should Go

This week the arrest of the suspected "Craig's List" killer highlights the ongoing violence that continues against women. This violence is perpetrated by weak, mediocre men. When is society going to say enough?

I believe that one cause of this violence is parents who do not train their sons to treat women with respect. As a dad to two sons, I can have an impact on that cause. I am sharing a "letter", I wrote to my sons when they were ready to start dating. I am not implying that they are angels by sharing this. I am suggesting that they had a clear understanding of where I stood when they were not in my presence while on a date. So, it comes back to the Proverb, Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it, Proverbs 22:6. Let's change the way far too many men in this world treats women. Let's raise sons who know where we stand when they are not in our presence.

Crossing the Threshold
by Kenneth Garrett

My son, you entered this world crying, and seeking comfort,
You found it in your mother's arms.
You tasted the pleasure of another's caress, and briefly glimpsed love.
That first touch gave you a hunger, a hunger that only another soul can satisfy.
This hunger leads down a road to heartbreak; your mother's and mine.
You have begun the journey to cross your threshold.
To leave your mother and me behind, because this is a hunger we cannot sate.
It is a girl you are searching for, one whom you can share your life with,
One whom will provide you comfort, one whom will complete your soul.

Understand, I want you to have this I do, but before I will allow this,
You must show me you are ready to handle responsibility.
I choose to be hard, because the world is full of mediocre men.
And you are not to become such a man.
A higher bar is set for you, and mediocrity is not your destiny.

It will be easier for you to convince her parents to let you date their daughter,
Then you will have of convincing me you are ready.
This may appear harsh, but it is for your growth I require this.
For you must understand when you take her on a date,
She will be your responsibility, you will not be hers.
Such is the nature of manhood.

When you pick her up, you will be with her for a time,
Talking, laughing, dining, and courting.
But only for a time, for you must return her home safely to her parents.
When she is with you, she becomes the most important person in your life.
You must make sure she is comfortable, happy, and safe.
Her needs take precedence over yours. Her life becomes your reason for being.
Should the call arise, you must place yourself between her and danger.
She is your responsibility, you are not hers, that is manhood's nature.
It is not about fairness. It is simply the way it is.

Show me you are ready to accept this and I will step back and let you fly.
And I will stay behind mourning this threshold that you have crossed,
Where you will leave me for another.
Where your focus is forward to you journey, and not back at your family.
Fly high my son, I remain here watching you with pride.

Love,

Dad

Book Covers

The story of Susan Boyle that is creating quite a buzz worldwide is inspiring, and is the trigger that caused me to begin this blog. I believe just about everyone knows her story of these past few days, (April 13 - April 17, 2009). She is a 47 year old lady, unmarried, unemployed, and never been kissed, who goes on the talent show, "Britain's Got Talent" and blows the audience away!

Now here's the thing. When she walked out on the stage, everyone had already determined that she was insignificant. Most of the audience, if not all, was looking forward to a good laugh when she started singing. The judges also expected that she was going to be laughed off the stage. She shared that her dream is to be a professional singer. When asked why that hadn't happened she replied I haven't been given a chance. I believe most conclusions formulated at that moment was I can "see" why you haven't been given a chance. Of course, when she sang that first note, everyone understood that Susan Boyle happens to be someone quite special. Her audition touched hearts worldwide. She is no longer anonymous. She has reminded the world, that a book cannot be judged by its cover. You have got to turn the pages or else you may reject something of value.

Her story reminds me of Samuel in the old testament. In the first book of Samuel, God told him to go to the house of Jesse and anoint the new king. When David's oldest brother, Eliab, walked out, Samuel was awestruck and believed Eliab was the one. God told him otherwise, as a matter of fact God told Samuel he rejected all 7 of David's older brothers. And then God revealed the difference between himself and man. He told Samuel "that man looks at the outward appearance, but He looks at the heart".

Miss Boyle's story leads me to conclude we still don't understand that we're not as discerning as we believe we are. Miss Boyle's dream was valid, she just didn't look the part. Her song was appropriate, "I Dreamed a Dream", and the last phrase, "and life has killed the dream I dreamed", sums up her life. But, her first note went through the cynicism in that auditorium like a hammer smashing porcelain. The reflection we viewed in the mirror afterward, showed us to be a people who would throw away a diamond, because it is covered in dirt. Wow! I wonder what other gems we would find, if we would only follow God's example and learn to focus on the heart?